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> Married Too Long?

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> Married Too Long?

>

>

> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping

> the channels.

> She asked, 'What's on TV?'

> I said, 'Dust.'

> And then the fight started...

> ====================================================================

>

> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

> anniversary.

> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to

> 200 in about 3

> Seconds.'

> I bought her a scale.

> And then the fight started...

> ====================================================================

>

> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take

> her someplace

> Expensive - so I took her to a gas station...

> And then the fight started....
> ====================================================================

>

> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school

> reunion,and I kept

> Staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat

> alone at a nearby

> Table.

> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend..

> I understand she took to

> Drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and

> I hear she

> Hasn't been sober since.'

> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a

> person could go on celebrating

> That long?'

> And then the fight started...

> ===========================================================

>

> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to

> apply for Social

> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
> driver's license to

> Verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had

> left my wallet at

> Home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would

> have to go home

> And come back later.

> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She

> said, 'That

> Silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and

> she processed my

> Social Security application.

> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my

> experience at the Social

> Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped

> your pants. You might

> Have gotten disability, too'

> And then the fight started.....

> ====================================================================

>

> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

> Sh e is not happy

> With what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel

> horrible; I look old,

> Fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

> compliment.'

> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near

> perfect.'

> And then the fight started.

> ====================================================================

>

> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some

> reason, took my order

> First."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,

> please." He said, "Aren't you

> Worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order

> for herself."

> And then the fight started.....

>

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Posted : January 15, 2009 10:40 am
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